For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We
find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack
Schitt!'
Well, thanks to a friends genealogy efforts, you can now respond in
an
knowledgeable way....
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple
produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt,
and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' obj ections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt,
a High school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and
Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and
because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her
previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a
son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two
of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers
in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper
announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children
were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He
recently
returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct
them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
